Spending Differences in Men and Women

Understanding the major differences between the spending habits of men and women can help you communicate better with your partner. Women and men spend money differently and for different reasons. Studies have shown that women spend money for acceptance. According to Bankrate.com, women are more likely to spend money when they don’t need to, to buy something because of a sale, to spend on impulse, and to shop for celebration. If the wife blows the budget, it’s more likely to happen over a period of time.

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Men, on the other hand, spend money on things that will gain value, like a house. However, men’s pitfall is ego-spending, the age-old tale of “Keeping Up With the Joneses.” Men are more likely to take risks with money, like investing in risky stocks. If a man blows the budget, it’s likely to happen in one fell swoop.

Who Controls the Money?

Does the difference between men and women make one more suited than the other to control the money? Not at all. When it comes to determining who controls the money, both people make the decision. You might decide that either the husband or wife unilaterally makes decisions about spending, but you make that decision together. There’s no right or wrong answer. The important thing is that both people have input.

Money and Divorce

Many say money is the leading cause of divorce. For now, we depend on anecdotal statistics from divorce lawyers. Since divorce petitions don’t list money as grounds for divorce, it’s hard to come up with an exact statistic. But, even if it isn’t money isn’t the number one cause of divorce, it’s definitely in the top five.

Prevent Divorce Before Marriage

It’s vital to discuss your views on money before you get married. Don’t assume you understand your partner’s spending habits and vice versa. If you have debt, the time to discuss it is before you get married. Waiting until after you’re married is only setting you up for a big fight and potentially a divorce.

Part of the pre-marital financial counseling should include a budget. Go over your expected income and expenses and together. The two of you should decide how every penny is going to be spent or saved. Make sure that both people should have access to money. Neither should have to ask for spending money. Don’t lie or hide purchases that you’ve made. The lying and dishonesty hurts your relationship more than the spending.

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How to Fight About Money

Nearly all couples disagree about money at some point during their relationship. But not all couples let the disagreement lead them to an attorney’s office. Here are some tips on properly communicating about money.

Don’ts

• Don’t attack your spouse
• Don’t bring other issues into the conversation
• Don’t accuse by saying “you never” or “you always”
• Don’t assume that the person who makes all the money has all the say so in how it’s spent.

Do’s

• Have difficult money talks when it’s convenient for both of you. If your partner is tired or involved with something else, wait until a better time.
• Discuss your attitudes about money and encourage your partner to do the same. It will help the two of you understand some of the deep-rooted issues that are causing conflict.

Should You Have Separate Money?

After reading about the trouble that money can cause, you might wonder if you should even combine your finances with your partner’s. You might keep your money separate to prevent fights about money. Some people, especially women, have a hard time combining their finances with their spouse’s after working so hard to gain financial independence. Finally, you may wonder if you’ll be one of the 50% of couples who ends up divorcing. Having your money separate will make a divorce a lot easier.

There are some drawbacks to keeping your money separate. Paying rent and other joint expenses from two separate accounts could get confusing. Your spouse might feel a lack of trust in the relationship if you keep your finances separate. Salary differences could be more obvious, creating a strain in the relationship.

Money Doesn’t Ruin All Relationships

Money is a subject that many couples have successful tackled, so it’s not impossible. Communicating your feelings about money and working together with your partner is the best way to ensure financial issues don’t derail your relationship. Dave Ramsey’s 5 Ways to Keep Your Wedding From Breaking the Bank and About.com’s Managing a Joint Credit Card Account are two good resources for helping you work with your partner or spouse.